5 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Starting Over at 40, 50, and Beyond
The false beliefs that keep us trapped in lives we've outgrown
You know that feeling when you're stuck in a life that doesn't fit anymore? Like trying to fit into a pair of jeans from 20 years ago? We don’t want to admit our bodies have changed. Most of us have been there. We want to make a change, but then our brain starts whispering all sorts of nonsense about why we can't.
Here's what I've learned from years of working with people who felt trapped by their stories: most of what we believe about midlife reinvention is not true. But, we hang onto this misperception.
Let me walk you through the five biggest lies you tell yourself and why they're not just wrong but actually toxic to your growth.
Lie #1: "I'm Too Old to Switch Careers"
Your brain didn't retire when you hit 40. Scientists call it neuroplasticity. It’s been proven that your brain keeps rewiring itself until the day you die. Every time you learn something new, you're literally changing your brain structure.
Sure, learning new things feels harder when you're older. That's not because you can't do it. It's because you forgot how uncomfortable growth feels. Remember learning to drive? That was terrifying too.
Lie #2: "Starting Over Means I'll Lose Everything I've Built"
This is where our all-or-nothing thinking gets us in trouble. Real life isn't a video game where you hit reset and start at level one.
That accountant who becomes a life coach? She's not throwing away 20 years of financial expertise. She's using it. The teacher who starts a consulting business? She’s building on decades of communication skills.
Your past isn't a prison sentence. It's your foundation. You're not erasing your history. You're adding a new chapter.
Lie #3: "I Missed My Chance"
Says who? The universe's scheduling department?
Every field has late bloomers. Every industry has people who found their groove in their 50s, 60s, or even 70s. The idea that opportunities have expiration dates is something we made up to feel better about not taking risks.
Here's the thing about being older: you bring patience, wisdom, and perspective that 25-year-olds don't have. In many fields, that matters more than energy and enthusiasm.
Your window isn't closing. It just looks different than you pictured.
Lie #4: "I Don't Have Enough Time Left"
Let's do some math. You're 50, and you'll probably live to 80. That's 30 years. Most people's entire careers don't last 30 years.
Even if you only have 15 good years left, that's enough time to master something new, build relationships that matter, or create something that outlasts you.
This "not enough time" story is usually fear wearing a disguise. You're not worried about time. You're worried about failing. But here's a secret: you're going to fail at some things no matter when you start. Might as well fail at something now!
Lie #5: "Everyone Will Think I've Lost My Mind"
Most people are too busy managing their own mess to spend much time judging yours. And the ones who do judge? Look closer. Are they living boldly? Or are they stuck in their own fear and want company?
The harshest critic is usually the voice in your own head. That voice learned to keep you safe when you were younger, but now it's keeping you from moving forward.
When someone questions your choices, ask yourself: is it coming from love or from their own unmet dreams?
What Happens Next
Starting over at midlife isn't about pretending you're 25 again. It's about honoring who you are now and who you're becoming. It's recognizing that growth doesn't have an expiration date.
The stories we tell ourselves about being "too old" or "too late are just fear. But real wisdom isn't about playing it safe. It's about taking smart risks when they matter.
Life isn't about running out the clock. This time in your life could be your second chapter.
So here's my question for you: What story have you been telling yourself about your possibilities? And more importantly, are you ready to find out if that story is actually true?
Talk to me in the comments.