I am past mid life and really relate to your piece. I don't remember when realized that "No is a complete sentence," but I pass that on to all my friends, who, invariably smile and totally get it.
I definitely shared this article! I loved #2. I am learning what I like and don't. I had a friend who realized she didn't like cooking so she stopped. I am finding I enjoy being at home more so say no to more invites. I also love Christmas decorations but not the putting up/taking down, so now I have the "15 min of Christmas" and have edited to what I enjoy and can get up quickly, and gave away all the rest. I love Christmas now.
Number 11 is the one I keep returning to. The fast yes or no the body hands you before the brain catches up. I spent years overriding that signal, explaining it away, softening it into something more manageable. I am 46 and only now understanding that what I called being reasonable was actually arguing with the most honest data I had. The gut was right the whole time.
I love this. It’s exactly the kind of message I’m sharing myself. Coming into this time of life has been very freeing and I see it for so many, yet I also see so many who still hear the narrative we are sold on aging. Thanks for sharing this.
I love this perspective on aging. ❤️ So much of midlife isn't about becoming someone new... it's about letting go of the expectations, explanations, and need for approval that kept us from being fully ourselves in the first place.
When I turned 50 my father had passed away earlier in the month, I stopped menstruating. I have 4 adult children. All married at that time. I’m 71 now but I do think that that was when I started to not care about what other people think. I did struggle with empty nest because being a mother and wife was all I knew. But I do believe now I started to change then to search for me. I realize I will always be a mother and wife but I also will be me. I believe if we care to much about what other people are thinking about you we are unable to prioritize what we think about ourselves.
Thank you for sharing as I really enjoyed this read. Number 6 hits for me - I’m definitely trying to stop the audition for perfection. She keeps trying to sneak in, but I’m working on it haha
Yes. Yes. Yes. Almost like a switch was flipped as soon as I turned 50 I felt differently about everything. I really don’t care what everyone thinks of my choices…I love them. The house isn’t being cleaned as often and I am spending more time walking, writing, in the gym. I like who I am now more than any other time in my life!
Always enjoy what you have to say, but this one hit me hard in the very best of possible ways given a difficult lunch conversation with someone devoted to aligning their insides with what they believe everyone expects and I'm just so very done with that....and said it with kindness and also a "let's not fight over this. You have your way and I have mine. And mine works really, really well for me."
I am past mid life and really relate to your piece. I don't remember when realized that "No is a complete sentence," but I pass that on to all my friends, who, invariably smile and totally get it.
I definitely shared this article! I loved #2. I am learning what I like and don't. I had a friend who realized she didn't like cooking so she stopped. I am finding I enjoy being at home more so say no to more invites. I also love Christmas decorations but not the putting up/taking down, so now I have the "15 min of Christmas" and have edited to what I enjoy and can get up quickly, and gave away all the rest. I love Christmas now.
I love getting older, I can easily say NO!
Number 11 is the one I keep returning to. The fast yes or no the body hands you before the brain catches up. I spent years overriding that signal, explaining it away, softening it into something more manageable. I am 46 and only now understanding that what I called being reasonable was actually arguing with the most honest data I had. The gut was right the whole time.
DK, The Unraveling 🤍
I love this. It’s exactly the kind of message I’m sharing myself. Coming into this time of life has been very freeing and I see it for so many, yet I also see so many who still hear the narrative we are sold on aging. Thanks for sharing this.
I love the reframing here. It doesn’t try to make ageing gentle or polite, it just tells the truth about what gets clearer. X
I love this perspective on aging. ❤️ So much of midlife isn't about becoming someone new... it's about letting go of the expectations, explanations, and need for approval that kept us from being fully ourselves in the first place.
When I turned 50 my father had passed away earlier in the month, I stopped menstruating. I have 4 adult children. All married at that time. I’m 71 now but I do think that that was when I started to not care about what other people think. I did struggle with empty nest because being a mother and wife was all I knew. But I do believe now I started to change then to search for me. I realize I will always be a mother and wife but I also will be me. I believe if we care to much about what other people are thinking about you we are unable to prioritize what we think about ourselves.
Yes! Fewer but better. That could be my mantra from now on. Excellent article. 👌🏻
YES!
Yep, that about covers it. So much of life is much simpler.
I find that I have no qualms about calling out institutional BS. Fun to have gained skills in that are.😎
Great article- thanks!
Nail on the head, as usual. Though this didn't really happen until 60, exactly when my husband died.
Thank you for sharing as I really enjoyed this read. Number 6 hits for me - I’m definitely trying to stop the audition for perfection. She keeps trying to sneak in, but I’m working on it haha
Yes. Yes. Yes. Almost like a switch was flipped as soon as I turned 50 I felt differently about everything. I really don’t care what everyone thinks of my choices…I love them. The house isn’t being cleaned as often and I am spending more time walking, writing, in the gym. I like who I am now more than any other time in my life!
Always enjoy what you have to say, but this one hit me hard in the very best of possible ways given a difficult lunch conversation with someone devoted to aligning their insides with what they believe everyone expects and I'm just so very done with that....and said it with kindness and also a "let's not fight over this. You have your way and I have mine. And mine works really, really well for me."
At 73, everything continues to get better as there’s so much more history, wisdom and smarts that go into who I am.