Thanks for this! I’ve written about how people are missing the mark when talking about this. Entering menopause overnight was not easy, and very overwhelming but there are ways to navigate it ❤️
What a GREAT article. It very much explains my experience and the reframing I had to do to come to a place where the "sky is no longer falling," and I have redefined almost everything in my life in a much more positive way that has increased my vitality to almost where it was before konenki arrived. :)
I’ve been waiting for someone to write this!! Thank you! I experienced a health collapse related to a concussion and Covid in 2020 and the way out of it was through brain and nervous system rewiring. I went through perimenopause and then menopause during the years of rewiring and was stunned at how well my body handled it. Not just handled, but thrived through it (and still is). I started suspecting that it was because I was doing so much nervous system work and inner work but was a little reluctant to jump to that conclusion. I so appreciate reading your perspective on this and hearing someone else voice/affirm my suspicions.
Fabulous essay. It’s interesting that I had a very different experience of menopause than my sister. We also had different experiences with pregnancy and childbirth. Our mental frameworks were absolutely opposite in how we viewed the experiences and, as a result, how we handled them (behaviors we instituted). Now I know why! It was the meaning we ascribed to those events. This holds true for other areas in our lives as well. Fascinating.
I loved this post. As always brilliant Ellen! The cultural framing piece is everything. Japanese women have konenki (renewal, new season) and report fewer symptoms. Western women have menopause (cessation, end) and the biology responds accordingly. This isn't coincidence. The story shapes the experience. And clothing is where that story gets practiced daily. Every time you reach for sleeves to the elbow because bare arms feel "off limits now," you're reinforcing the decline narrative. Reframing isn't just cognitive. It's material. What you wear is what you practice.
Well if it wasn’t my brain, something was broken in me. I was damn near homicidal with rages. A psych dx me as borderline during this period that to this day I can’t get off my medical records despite me having no prior MH hx. And I made the appointment with her for help with out of control menopause rages. More added trauma.
“Your brain doesn’t respond to events. It responds to the meaning it assigns to events.”
So much truth, and comfort in believing and eventually feeling this. This was a powerful essay. Thank you from someone coming out of menopause, and aching for those in the worst of it. So grateful there are so many folks teaching others what I didn’t know when I entered menopause. Thank you.
Ellen - This essay is fantastic. Thank you so much for writing it. My own menopause experience was quite different from most, as I entered it overnight after having surgery for aggressive cervical cancer at age 39. So, my timeline for experiencing what you describe here was different, but the reality of the changes I went through are exactly as you discuss. The shift in my priorities, my new clarity of focus, my feeling of freedom from societal expectations and demands all greatly increased the quality of my life. I'm 69 now, and the only downside I've experienced from menopause is I still have hot flashes after 30 years. I've found acupuncture relieves them for a few months, but so far, they just keep coming back. If you have any explanation for them, I'd really love to hear it.
This is so good, I love the flip of a story you tell yourself but I have not been listening to my own advice, so I shall listen to yours.
Insert gif: Queen Minion mic drop from her balcony.
This is a fantastic substack article that I have already shared with so many people.
WOW..........just what I needed. Thank you so much for this.
Thanks for this! I’ve written about how people are missing the mark when talking about this. Entering menopause overnight was not easy, and very overwhelming but there are ways to navigate it ❤️
What a GREAT article. It very much explains my experience and the reframing I had to do to come to a place where the "sky is no longer falling," and I have redefined almost everything in my life in a much more positive way that has increased my vitality to almost where it was before konenki arrived. :)
I’ve been waiting for someone to write this!! Thank you! I experienced a health collapse related to a concussion and Covid in 2020 and the way out of it was through brain and nervous system rewiring. I went through perimenopause and then menopause during the years of rewiring and was stunned at how well my body handled it. Not just handled, but thrived through it (and still is). I started suspecting that it was because I was doing so much nervous system work and inner work but was a little reluctant to jump to that conclusion. I so appreciate reading your perspective on this and hearing someone else voice/affirm my suspicions.
Fabulous essay. It’s interesting that I had a very different experience of menopause than my sister. We also had different experiences with pregnancy and childbirth. Our mental frameworks were absolutely opposite in how we viewed the experiences and, as a result, how we handled them (behaviors we instituted). Now I know why! It was the meaning we ascribed to those events. This holds true for other areas in our lives as well. Fascinating.
I loved this post. As always brilliant Ellen! The cultural framing piece is everything. Japanese women have konenki (renewal, new season) and report fewer symptoms. Western women have menopause (cessation, end) and the biology responds accordingly. This isn't coincidence. The story shapes the experience. And clothing is where that story gets practiced daily. Every time you reach for sleeves to the elbow because bare arms feel "off limits now," you're reinforcing the decline narrative. Reframing isn't just cognitive. It's material. What you wear is what you practice.
Well if it wasn’t my brain, something was broken in me. I was damn near homicidal with rages. A psych dx me as borderline during this period that to this day I can’t get off my medical records despite me having no prior MH hx. And I made the appointment with her for help with out of control menopause rages. More added trauma.
“Your brain doesn’t respond to events. It responds to the meaning it assigns to events.”
So much truth, and comfort in believing and eventually feeling this. This was a powerful essay. Thank you from someone coming out of menopause, and aching for those in the worst of it. So grateful there are so many folks teaching others what I didn’t know when I entered menopause. Thank you.
Ellen - This essay is fantastic. Thank you so much for writing it. My own menopause experience was quite different from most, as I entered it overnight after having surgery for aggressive cervical cancer at age 39. So, my timeline for experiencing what you describe here was different, but the reality of the changes I went through are exactly as you discuss. The shift in my priorities, my new clarity of focus, my feeling of freedom from societal expectations and demands all greatly increased the quality of my life. I'm 69 now, and the only downside I've experienced from menopause is I still have hot flashes after 30 years. I've found acupuncture relieves them for a few months, but so far, they just keep coming back. If you have any explanation for them, I'd really love to hear it.