Oh the Sunday night dread! How well I know it. Sometimes it creeps into Sunday afternoon. I have been a high school science teacher for 41 years. I wanted to do something differently 10 or 15 years ago. But, I felt like so many depended on my modest but stable income and great health insurance benefits.. my children were emerging into adulthood, but still needed financial support.. the justifications for staying in a career that no longer served me go on and on..then, this fall, in the midst of a new school year, I realized I can’t do this anymore. It is exactly as you stated in another post, “ like holding your breath under water, you either come up for air or you drown.” I’m 64 and still need to earn income for a few more years. It’s terrifying to leave a professional that I started in my early 20s but it’s time. I have no idea what I will do, but I do know that next year, I will not be writing lesson plans, spending my own money for lab supplies, contacting parents, or motivating adolescents. I feel like I am jumping off a cliff… wish me luck. You have inspired me to make a change, Ellen.
I’m absolutely in the midst of an evolution. And the career choice feels suffocating now, I want to think about other things and learn about other people besides trauma, mental health and addiction (counsellor by trade!). But I am so tired, the thought of changing overwhelms my already exhausted brain and so I plod on. Starting small makes sense, depending on the energy battery for the day and the sleep I’ve had. But I know that staying in the career I’m in is more and more untenable…
Thanks, I needed this boost right now. In the midst of a huge career transition at age 48 ;) You have an amazing voice- I look forward to reading more of your writing here!
This piece felt like someone finally said the quiet part out loud. That Sunday-night ache hits so many of us, and it’s not about laziness or lack of gratitude it’s the soul saying, ‘this isn’t it anymore.’ I love how you framed midlife transition as an emergence instead of a collapse. That shift from dread to recognition to hope? That’s real courage. ✨
Oh the Sunday night dread! How well I know it. Sometimes it creeps into Sunday afternoon. I have been a high school science teacher for 41 years. I wanted to do something differently 10 or 15 years ago. But, I felt like so many depended on my modest but stable income and great health insurance benefits.. my children were emerging into adulthood, but still needed financial support.. the justifications for staying in a career that no longer served me go on and on..then, this fall, in the midst of a new school year, I realized I can’t do this anymore. It is exactly as you stated in another post, “ like holding your breath under water, you either come up for air or you drown.” I’m 64 and still need to earn income for a few more years. It’s terrifying to leave a professional that I started in my early 20s but it’s time. I have no idea what I will do, but I do know that next year, I will not be writing lesson plans, spending my own money for lab supplies, contacting parents, or motivating adolescents. I feel like I am jumping off a cliff… wish me luck. You have inspired me to make a change, Ellen.
I’m absolutely in the midst of an evolution. And the career choice feels suffocating now, I want to think about other things and learn about other people besides trauma, mental health and addiction (counsellor by trade!). But I am so tired, the thought of changing overwhelms my already exhausted brain and so I plod on. Starting small makes sense, depending on the energy battery for the day and the sleep I’ve had. But I know that staying in the career I’m in is more and more untenable…
Thanks, I needed this boost right now. In the midst of a huge career transition at age 48 ;) You have an amazing voice- I look forward to reading more of your writing here!
Rachel, wishing you the best in your career transition. You can do it!
This piece felt like someone finally said the quiet part out loud. That Sunday-night ache hits so many of us, and it’s not about laziness or lack of gratitude it’s the soul saying, ‘this isn’t it anymore.’ I love how you framed midlife transition as an emergence instead of a collapse. That shift from dread to recognition to hope? That’s real courage. ✨
It is definitely a shift to hope. BTW, I love your posts!