Thank you for this inspiring and heart-warming story, although it was probably not inspiring while you were "in the flames of mount Doom" but now it brings all of us to life :)
Ellen, I just recently discovered your writing on Substack and it has helped me so much. I am 64, went back and got my grad degree at 58, but after many interviews have never been able to land the Ed Leadership job I wanted. I’m still in the classroom. This is year 41 as a secondary science teacher. Everyone tells me I’m really good at it, but it’s draining my soul… thanks so much for this particular piece. It’s definitely food for thought as I try to figure out how to “break open”.
This. “You have two choices,” she said. “You can let this break you. Or you can let it break you open.” Now in my early 50s, my professional life blew up nearly 2 years ago (dare I say, shit hit the fan). I chose not to let it break me but rather, let it break me open. Now I'm doing work that lights me up, I'm my own boss, and building my little kingdom. I wouldn't trade this time in my life for anything. So excited to follow you and your writing!
Loved this so much Ellen. At 67, yes it’s taken me this long🤦♀️ I am in three amazing relationships each bringing me something else my work - total and complete fulfilment and joy. My family - blessed beyond blessed - my funny clever amazing granddaughter- my heart living outside my body. My 4 Wonderful women friends. And most of all my relationship with myself. Yes finally me and my own heart living in a way that brings me peace , wonder, curiosity and is never boring. I can finally be who I am. It’s a very new adventure which gets better the more ‘authentic’ I remain. 🧡
I cannot express how deeply this piece touched me, thank you! As someone on the precipice of a cliff of life, I am petrified and your story gives me hope ❤️
Wow I love this. This is me and today I don’t give 2 hoots I am now the woman I was always ment to be I’m embracing the change and I right now in this moment have made a decision to fulfill exactly what I e always wanted to do. Like you I’m going to get a degree in psychology I know what I’m good at and there is a corner of the world crying out for my help. Onwards and upwards. Thanks for the inspiration oh and I’ve just turned 47 whoop 🙌🙌
Love this, it’s never too late! 💛 I think mature students often work the hardest and get the most out of it. They’re driven because they know exactly what they want. I felt that way when I went back for my graduate diploma.
My late mother one asked me what I would do if time and money were no object. I immediately replied that I’d get a masters degree. I couldn’t at the time, because TIME and MONEY were definitely an object. (I was a homeschooling mom of 10 in an imploding marriage.) Then finally the moment came and I knew. I enrolled in seminary at age 55, got my MA in Ministry, and now work full time in suicide prevention and mental health crisis intervention.
My life fell apart at 50 when my now-ex announced six months after our 25th anniversary that he wanted a different life...with his younger girlfriend of 2 years. That was four years ago and since then I finished my second MA, got a certificate from the Harvard Business School, another from Booth, and am halfway through a PhD. I'll be 55 next month and still slogging ahead. And his little side piece only lasted nine months after he walked out and they moved in together. I mean who could have seen that coming?!?!?!?
Dana, I love your story! You are rocking it! I especially love the ending with his fling only lasting 9 months. I now look back and feel grateful my ex-left the marriage because I don't believe I would be where I am now in my life. Things happen for a reason. Just believe!
What struck me the hardest from this wonderful/inspiring essay: “But being great at something that drains the life out of you is like being an expert at holding your breath underwater.
You can do it for a while. But eventually, you have to come up for air.
Or you drown.”
I was a new oncology RN at 45 and then a hospice RN. I did the whole gig for only about 10 years. Then my dad died and all I could see in every dying patient was my dad all over again. Joy gone, hello pain. But everyone kept telling me (and does to this day) what a FABULOUS nurse I am/was. Your above statement hit hard. Thank you for that analogy. (Not that I continually second guess myself or anything…. 🤨🙄)
I now own a wonderful little boutique motel in a small town and a cake/cupcake business. The reinvention of myself….painful but worth it. I was about to drown. Thank God someone threw me a lifeline.
Thank you for this inspiring and heart-warming story, although it was probably not inspiring while you were "in the flames of mount Doom" but now it brings all of us to life :)
really inspired by your story - thank you for sharing!
Ellen, I just recently discovered your writing on Substack and it has helped me so much. I am 64, went back and got my grad degree at 58, but after many interviews have never been able to land the Ed Leadership job I wanted. I’m still in the classroom. This is year 41 as a secondary science teacher. Everyone tells me I’m really good at it, but it’s draining my soul… thanks so much for this particular piece. It’s definitely food for thought as I try to figure out how to “break open”.
This. “You have two choices,” she said. “You can let this break you. Or you can let it break you open.” Now in my early 50s, my professional life blew up nearly 2 years ago (dare I say, shit hit the fan). I chose not to let it break me but rather, let it break me open. Now I'm doing work that lights me up, I'm my own boss, and building my little kingdom. I wouldn't trade this time in my life for anything. So excited to follow you and your writing!
Loved this so much Ellen. At 67, yes it’s taken me this long🤦♀️ I am in three amazing relationships each bringing me something else my work - total and complete fulfilment and joy. My family - blessed beyond blessed - my funny clever amazing granddaughter- my heart living outside my body. My 4 Wonderful women friends. And most of all my relationship with myself. Yes finally me and my own heart living in a way that brings me peace , wonder, curiosity and is never boring. I can finally be who I am. It’s a very new adventure which gets better the more ‘authentic’ I remain. 🧡
I cannot express how deeply this piece touched me, thank you! As someone on the precipice of a cliff of life, I am petrified and your story gives me hope ❤️
Thanks. This is me right now. 43, starting the process of divorce
38 and in the same spot. really needed this reminder that the best is yet to come.
So deeply moving.
What a collapse and resurrection.
Inspiring!
Wow I love this. This is me and today I don’t give 2 hoots I am now the woman I was always ment to be I’m embracing the change and I right now in this moment have made a decision to fulfill exactly what I e always wanted to do. Like you I’m going to get a degree in psychology I know what I’m good at and there is a corner of the world crying out for my help. Onwards and upwards. Thanks for the inspiration oh and I’ve just turned 47 whoop 🙌🙌
This was so lovely to read. Cheering for you! Women amaze me every day.
Love this, it’s never too late! 💛 I think mature students often work the hardest and get the most out of it. They’re driven because they know exactly what they want. I felt that way when I went back for my graduate diploma.
My late mother one asked me what I would do if time and money were no object. I immediately replied that I’d get a masters degree. I couldn’t at the time, because TIME and MONEY were definitely an object. (I was a homeschooling mom of 10 in an imploding marriage.) Then finally the moment came and I knew. I enrolled in seminary at age 55, got my MA in Ministry, and now work full time in suicide prevention and mental health crisis intervention.
Thank you for this — it struck a chord, and reminded me of a poem a friend once shared with me. I don’t know the author.
I sit shiva with all the dark angels --
fear and anger, grief, hurt and shame --
sharing in the earthy, viscous life blood
of blighted, blessed, beautiful humanity.
Wisdom sits among them,
intimate as a lover,
composed and compassionate.
She wills me to abide,
silently entreating me
to live the vigil fully,
staying present to the pain,
Allowing the dark ones to withdraw
in their own time,
Trusting that I will remain,
At last, and only then,
Broken open.
My life fell apart at 50 when my now-ex announced six months after our 25th anniversary that he wanted a different life...with his younger girlfriend of 2 years. That was four years ago and since then I finished my second MA, got a certificate from the Harvard Business School, another from Booth, and am halfway through a PhD. I'll be 55 next month and still slogging ahead. And his little side piece only lasted nine months after he walked out and they moved in together. I mean who could have seen that coming?!?!?!?
I enjoy the karmic revenge there, Dana!!!
9 months. Ugh.
Dana, I love your story! You are rocking it! I especially love the ending with his fling only lasting 9 months. I now look back and feel grateful my ex-left the marriage because I don't believe I would be where I am now in my life. Things happen for a reason. Just believe!
Yes, finish that PhD and have a fabulous celebration! You deserve it!
What struck me the hardest from this wonderful/inspiring essay: “But being great at something that drains the life out of you is like being an expert at holding your breath underwater.
You can do it for a while. But eventually, you have to come up for air.
Or you drown.”
I was a new oncology RN at 45 and then a hospice RN. I did the whole gig for only about 10 years. Then my dad died and all I could see in every dying patient was my dad all over again. Joy gone, hello pain. But everyone kept telling me (and does to this day) what a FABULOUS nurse I am/was. Your above statement hit hard. Thank you for that analogy. (Not that I continually second guess myself or anything…. 🤨🙄)
I now own a wonderful little boutique motel in a small town and a cake/cupcake business. The reinvention of myself….painful but worth it. I was about to drown. Thank God someone threw me a lifeline.
Bless you for being a helper. 🩷
I dig your transformation!
Thank you. 🙏🏼☺️
I love your story! Good for you to give up a career that was no long fulfilling. Your new journey sounds wonderful!
My wish for you is that there is a shining light at the end of the tunnel.