Love this, it’s never too late! 💛 I think mature students often work the hardest and get the most out of it. They’re driven because they know exactly what they want. I felt that way when I went back for my graduate diploma.
My late mother one asked me what I would do if time and money were no object. I immediately replied that I’d get a masters degree. I couldn’t at the time, because TIME and MONEY were definitely an object. (I was a homeschooling mom of 10 in an imploding marriage.) Then finally the moment came and I knew. I enrolled in seminary at age 55, got my MA in Ministry, and now work full time in suicide prevention and mental health crisis intervention.
My life fell apart at 50 when my now-ex announced six months after our 25th anniversary that he wanted a different life...with his younger girlfriend of 2 years. That was four years ago and since then I finished my second MA, got a certificate from the Harvard Business School, another from Booth, and am halfway through a PhD. I'll be 55 next month and still slogging ahead. And his little side piece only lasted nine months after he walked out and they moved in together. I mean who could have seen that coming?!?!?!?
Dana, I love your story! You are rocking it! I especially love the ending with his fling only lasting 9 months. I now look back and feel grateful my ex-left the marriage because I don't believe I would be where I am now in my life. Things happen for a reason. Just believe!
What struck me the hardest from this wonderful/inspiring essay: “But being great at something that drains the life out of you is like being an expert at holding your breath underwater.
You can do it for a while. But eventually, you have to come up for air.
Or you drown.”
I was a new oncology RN at 45 and then a hospice RN. I did the whole gig for only about 10 years. Then my dad died and all I could see in every dying patient was my dad all over again. Joy gone, hello pain. But everyone kept telling me (and does to this day) what a FABULOUS nurse I am/was. Your above statement hit hard. Thank you for that analogy. (Not that I continually second guess myself or anything…. 🤨🙄)
I now own a wonderful little boutique motel in a small town and a cake/cupcake business. The reinvention of myself….painful but worth it. I was about to drown. Thank God someone threw me a lifeline.
I burst out laughing at the part about forgetting the word 'attachment', and the comparison to a pilot forgetting the word 'landing' - classic! And then there is "I speak Fluent Struggle" - OMG, I so love that! What a post...brilliant, Ellen, bloody brilliant :-)
My sister says there are no coincidences. I trust her, she's been a guiding light since the tornado of deep betrayal ripped through my life. I'm making my way out of the wreckage now, and find this post like a lamp shining on my feed. Thanks for sharing.
This is not a criticism but a question-Why couldn’t a life of helping just be devoted to charity instead of adding yet another therapist to the fodder?
I left overseas ministry and sought counseling to deal better with stress. After several session, the therapist asked, “Tell me again what all was so stressful.” I did and he responded, “Yes, that sounds very stressful.” That was my point of healing. No longer “chin up”, or some spiritual encouragement of perseverance, or normalizing of the stress, but a simple acknowledgement of how hard it was. (P.S. I started a PhD program at 50 while navigating a chronic pain and fatigue condition. Took me 7 years, but I did it!)
What a brilliant piece of writing. Full of honesty, humour and inspiration 🥰
I can really relate as my life fell apart (for different reasons) at a similar age in the middle of completing my first degree. But here I am almost 20 years later with an arts degree, reasonably healthy (menopause is another challenge entirely) and still changing career course when the opportunity presents. What a ride hey?
Wonderful story! I went back to school at 50, got my Masters and then my license at 56, have been in practice 30+ years and just published my first book at 86 (and am still seeing clients!). Resilience is the name of the game!
This was so lovely to read. Cheering for you! Women amaze me every day.
Love this, it’s never too late! 💛 I think mature students often work the hardest and get the most out of it. They’re driven because they know exactly what they want. I felt that way when I went back for my graduate diploma.
My late mother one asked me what I would do if time and money were no object. I immediately replied that I’d get a masters degree. I couldn’t at the time, because TIME and MONEY were definitely an object. (I was a homeschooling mom of 10 in an imploding marriage.) Then finally the moment came and I knew. I enrolled in seminary at age 55, got my MA in Ministry, and now work full time in suicide prevention and mental health crisis intervention.
Thank you for this — it struck a chord, and reminded me of a poem a friend once shared with me. I don’t know the author.
I sit shiva with all the dark angels --
fear and anger, grief, hurt and shame --
sharing in the earthy, viscous life blood
of blighted, blessed, beautiful humanity.
Wisdom sits among them,
intimate as a lover,
composed and compassionate.
She wills me to abide,
silently entreating me
to live the vigil fully,
staying present to the pain,
Allowing the dark ones to withdraw
in their own time,
Trusting that I will remain,
At last, and only then,
Broken open.
My life fell apart at 50 when my now-ex announced six months after our 25th anniversary that he wanted a different life...with his younger girlfriend of 2 years. That was four years ago and since then I finished my second MA, got a certificate from the Harvard Business School, another from Booth, and am halfway through a PhD. I'll be 55 next month and still slogging ahead. And his little side piece only lasted nine months after he walked out and they moved in together. I mean who could have seen that coming?!?!?!?
Dana, I love your story! You are rocking it! I especially love the ending with his fling only lasting 9 months. I now look back and feel grateful my ex-left the marriage because I don't believe I would be where I am now in my life. Things happen for a reason. Just believe!
Yes, finish that PhD and have a fabulous celebration! You deserve it!
What struck me the hardest from this wonderful/inspiring essay: “But being great at something that drains the life out of you is like being an expert at holding your breath underwater.
You can do it for a while. But eventually, you have to come up for air.
Or you drown.”
I was a new oncology RN at 45 and then a hospice RN. I did the whole gig for only about 10 years. Then my dad died and all I could see in every dying patient was my dad all over again. Joy gone, hello pain. But everyone kept telling me (and does to this day) what a FABULOUS nurse I am/was. Your above statement hit hard. Thank you for that analogy. (Not that I continually second guess myself or anything…. 🤨🙄)
I now own a wonderful little boutique motel in a small town and a cake/cupcake business. The reinvention of myself….painful but worth it. I was about to drown. Thank God someone threw me a lifeline.
Bless you for being a helper. 🩷
I love your story! Good for you to give up a career that was no long fulfilling. Your new journey sounds wonderful!
My wish for you is that there is a shining light at the end of the tunnel.
I burst out laughing at the part about forgetting the word 'attachment', and the comparison to a pilot forgetting the word 'landing' - classic! And then there is "I speak Fluent Struggle" - OMG, I so love that! What a post...brilliant, Ellen, bloody brilliant :-)
Thank you for your kind words!
This is so brilliantly written 💛
I appreciate your comment.
My sister says there are no coincidences. I trust her, she's been a guiding light since the tornado of deep betrayal ripped through my life. I'm making my way out of the wreckage now, and find this post like a lamp shining on my feed. Thanks for sharing.
This is not a criticism but a question-Why couldn’t a life of helping just be devoted to charity instead of adding yet another therapist to the fodder?
Perhaps the author needed to make a living for herself and her boys!
I left overseas ministry and sought counseling to deal better with stress. After several session, the therapist asked, “Tell me again what all was so stressful.” I did and he responded, “Yes, that sounds very stressful.” That was my point of healing. No longer “chin up”, or some spiritual encouragement of perseverance, or normalizing of the stress, but a simple acknowledgement of how hard it was. (P.S. I started a PhD program at 50 while navigating a chronic pain and fatigue condition. Took me 7 years, but I did it!)
What a brilliant piece of writing. Full of honesty, humour and inspiration 🥰
I can really relate as my life fell apart (for different reasons) at a similar age in the middle of completing my first degree. But here I am almost 20 years later with an arts degree, reasonably healthy (menopause is another challenge entirely) and still changing career course when the opportunity presents. What a ride hey?
Wonderful story! I went back to school at 50, got my Masters and then my license at 56, have been in practice 30+ years and just published my first book at 86 (and am still seeing clients!). Resilience is the name of the game!
Thats absolutely amazing ‼️
Thank you for a great, revealing article. Best of luck to you.
71 year old retired psychologist here. Good for you! Your clients will be lucky to have you.