I am struggling with this. I am 40 with a lifetime of trauma behind me. I am a single parent and I am TIRED of being the only adult and having to constantly be alert and on and working in one way or another. I am lonely. But the thought of a person here with me all the time? Terrifying. Abhorrent really.
Wow, I really felt a relief when I get to this question: "What if I simply decided that this chapter was complete?"
You know, for us women making decisions based on what we feel and think, is such a brave thing to do. We are so conditioned to take everyone into consideration -even the ones we don't know yet, such as a hypotetical future partner- and we must behave according to the rules in order to be chosen; almost a promised price to get a better life as if our own worlds aren't enough. I don't know if I should quit dating but now that I entered my 30s because a part of me is still hoping to find a nice guy, but I do feel the need to have a new chapter in the relationship I have with romantic partnerships so I can actually start living my best life no matter how long it takes to meet someone. I appreciate the perspective of a woman that's been on this earth longer than me, your vision on life is so relevant, I'll keepmy eye on this posts for sure. ♡♡
Just stumbled across your substack - wonderful writing - such a gift - thank you for sharing it. I’m 67 and this so resonates with me. Especially this part: “Nobody is monitoring my mood to determine if their day will be okay.” Hallelujah!!!
“I had been trying to prove I could get it right this time.”
That is the invisible labor so many carry the attempt to redeem a story by reenacting it. The belief that healing is evidenced by finding a “better ending.” But you stopped chasing proof. And that shift is not small. That is the reclamation of a life. 🩷
Glad I’m not the only that feels this way.
I am struggling with this. I am 40 with a lifetime of trauma behind me. I am a single parent and I am TIRED of being the only adult and having to constantly be alert and on and working in one way or another. I am lonely. But the thought of a person here with me all the time? Terrifying. Abhorrent really.
Wow, I really felt a relief when I get to this question: "What if I simply decided that this chapter was complete?"
You know, for us women making decisions based on what we feel and think, is such a brave thing to do. We are so conditioned to take everyone into consideration -even the ones we don't know yet, such as a hypotetical future partner- and we must behave according to the rules in order to be chosen; almost a promised price to get a better life as if our own worlds aren't enough. I don't know if I should quit dating but now that I entered my 30s because a part of me is still hoping to find a nice guy, but I do feel the need to have a new chapter in the relationship I have with romantic partnerships so I can actually start living my best life no matter how long it takes to meet someone. I appreciate the perspective of a woman that's been on this earth longer than me, your vision on life is so relevant, I'll keepmy eye on this posts for sure. ♡♡
“…where you learned to prioritize someone else’s emotional state over your own survival…”
Or when your own survival depended on prioritizing someone else’s emotional state
this is definitely a reasonable assumption that many people likely experience.
Just stumbled across your substack - wonderful writing - such a gift - thank you for sharing it. I’m 67 and this so resonates with me. Especially this part: “Nobody is monitoring my mood to determine if their day will be okay.” Hallelujah!!!
“I had been trying to prove I could get it right this time.”
That is the invisible labor so many carry the attempt to redeem a story by reenacting it. The belief that healing is evidenced by finding a “better ending.” But you stopped chasing proof. And that shift is not small. That is the reclamation of a life. 🩷
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
Beautifully said! Good for you 🩷
You know those self-absorbed feminists don't give a rat's ass about what you think and what men want, right, Frank?