I am struggling with this. I am 40 with a lifetime of trauma behind me. I am a single parent and I am TIRED of being the only adult and having to constantly be alert and on and working in one way or another. I am lonely. But the thought of a person here with me all the time? Terrifying. Abhorrent really.
Wow, I really felt a relief when I get to this question: "What if I simply decided that this chapter was complete?"
You know, for us women making decisions based on what we feel and think, is such a brave thing to do. We are so conditioned to take everyone into consideration -even the ones we don't know yet, such as a hypotetical future partner- and we must behave according to the rules in order to be chosen; almost a promised price to get a better life as if our own worlds aren't enough. I don't know if I should quit dating but now that I entered my 30s because a part of me is still hoping to find a nice guy, but I do feel the need to have a new chapter in the relationship I have with romantic partnerships so I can actually start living my best life no matter how long it takes to meet someone. I appreciate the perspective of a woman that's been on this earth longer than me, your vision on life is so relevant, I'll keepmy eye on this posts for sure. ♡♡
Just stumbled across your substack - wonderful writing - such a gift - thank you for sharing it. I’m 67 and this so resonates with me. Especially this part: “Nobody is monitoring my mood to determine if their day will be okay.” Hallelujah!!!
“I had been trying to prove I could get it right this time.”
That is the invisible labor so many carry the attempt to redeem a story by reenacting it. The belief that healing is evidenced by finding a “better ending.” But you stopped chasing proof. And that shift is not small. That is the reclamation of a life. 🩷
Glad I’m not the only that feels this way.
I am struggling with this. I am 40 with a lifetime of trauma behind me. I am a single parent and I am TIRED of being the only adult and having to constantly be alert and on and working in one way or another. I am lonely. But the thought of a person here with me all the time? Terrifying. Abhorrent really.
Wow, I really felt a relief when I get to this question: "What if I simply decided that this chapter was complete?"
You know, for us women making decisions based on what we feel and think, is such a brave thing to do. We are so conditioned to take everyone into consideration -even the ones we don't know yet, such as a hypotetical future partner- and we must behave according to the rules in order to be chosen; almost a promised price to get a better life as if our own worlds aren't enough. I don't know if I should quit dating but now that I entered my 30s because a part of me is still hoping to find a nice guy, but I do feel the need to have a new chapter in the relationship I have with romantic partnerships so I can actually start living my best life no matter how long it takes to meet someone. I appreciate the perspective of a woman that's been on this earth longer than me, your vision on life is so relevant, I'll keepmy eye on this posts for sure. ♡♡
Sorry, men don't want self-absorbed feminists that have contempt for men.
You know those self-absorbed feminists don't give a rat's ass about what you think and what men want, right, Frank?
I absolutely know that. That’s why men won’t go near them.
Not that long ago, the sexes sought each other out. Then came the cancer of feminism.
“…where you learned to prioritize someone else’s emotional state over your own survival…”
Or when your own survival depended on prioritizing someone else’s emotional state
this is definitely a reasonable assumption that many people likely experience.
Just stumbled across your substack - wonderful writing - such a gift - thank you for sharing it. I’m 67 and this so resonates with me. Especially this part: “Nobody is monitoring my mood to determine if their day will be okay.” Hallelujah!!!
“I had been trying to prove I could get it right this time.”
That is the invisible labor so many carry the attempt to redeem a story by reenacting it. The belief that healing is evidenced by finding a “better ending.” But you stopped chasing proof. And that shift is not small. That is the reclamation of a life. 🩷
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
Beautifully said! Good for you 🩷