Spot on. I experienced this myself. I did what others expected. I became what they wanted. And when it began to fall apart, I fought it for a long time. Until I didn’t anymore. Now I realize it needed to fall apart. Since then, I have uncovered so much more—a desire to live a life of my choosing.
For a LOOOONG time I wanted to escape to a hut in the woods, by the sea.
"Maybe you fantasize about disappearing to a cabin in the woods with your dog where nobody knows your name."
I realised that this would leave me with NO connections, and at risk of breakdown/murder/going back. So a few montgs ago the planets aligned and I moved to an ivory tower across the city.
I. Love. It.
I sleep 10 hours a night, clean up only my own mess, and don't have to put up with much cr@p.
I am so grateful for this opportunity to rediscover myself.
This is exactly what I didn’t want to read and exactly what I needed the most in this exact moment. I feel like my mid-lift crumble comes a little early but that’s the thing when you feel like you can’t live a life one more second of your life. Letting go is the hardest most terrifying thing in the world, but the freedom on the other side — that’s truly glorious.
In the middle of "what I thought I wanted was only partly what I wanted and now I have to find another way after feeling like I've been restarting my whole life". I wish it was less an ongoing existential dread and more an upbeat 3 minute montage set to music.
I don’t know what to say other than…this is my story through and through. As I write this, my tears are falling onto the screen because every word here is spot on! I thought I had clarity before now, but this post is exactly the validation I needed. So thank you. With love. ✌️
“You spend decades building a life based on what you thought you should want. What your parents expected. What looked good on paper. What seemed safe.” This.. this right here is me..Thanks Ellen, I am recognizing myself more and more in your writing. Not sure what the next steps are, but know something has to change.
The truth IS easier to live within a lie.
As always, so much truth here. And so beautifully said.
Spot on. I experienced this myself. I did what others expected. I became what they wanted. And when it began to fall apart, I fought it for a long time. Until I didn’t anymore. Now I realize it needed to fall apart. Since then, I have uncovered so much more—a desire to live a life of my choosing.
So much this. I just set fire to my old life and now trying to build a new one. It’s not pretty. But I have to believe it’s going to work out somehow.
Simply wonderful
I can relate so much to this.
For a LOOOONG time I wanted to escape to a hut in the woods, by the sea.
"Maybe you fantasize about disappearing to a cabin in the woods with your dog where nobody knows your name."
I realised that this would leave me with NO connections, and at risk of breakdown/murder/going back. So a few montgs ago the planets aligned and I moved to an ivory tower across the city.
I. Love. It.
I sleep 10 hours a night, clean up only my own mess, and don't have to put up with much cr@p.
I am so grateful for this opportunity to rediscover myself.
This is exactly what I didn’t want to read and exactly what I needed the most in this exact moment. I feel like my mid-lift crumble comes a little early but that’s the thing when you feel like you can’t live a life one more second of your life. Letting go is the hardest most terrifying thing in the world, but the freedom on the other side — that’s truly glorious.
So good....just what I needed to hear.
In the middle of "what I thought I wanted was only partly what I wanted and now I have to find another way after feeling like I've been restarting my whole life". I wish it was less an ongoing existential dread and more an upbeat 3 minute montage set to music.
Wow, this arrived exactly on time! Thank you for the lovely reminder — to give myself an expansiveness that allows me to fall apart
while easing into the unknown with grace, courage and acceptance. Peace to all here.
I'm knee deep in the falling apart. Twenty-nine years of marriage unraveling a little everyday.
Exactly what I needed to hear today…. Just let the pieces fall. Thank you for this wisdom 🙏
I don’t know what to say other than…this is my story through and through. As I write this, my tears are falling onto the screen because every word here is spot on! I thought I had clarity before now, but this post is exactly the validation I needed. So thank you. With love. ✌️
I’m learning to quiet down enough inside to hear the hell yeah again. Because for now, everything else has to be a no.
Thanks, I identify!!!!!!
“You spend decades building a life based on what you thought you should want. What your parents expected. What looked good on paper. What seemed safe.” This.. this right here is me..Thanks Ellen, I am recognizing myself more and more in your writing. Not sure what the next steps are, but know something has to change.