I believe that I was meant to read this very message at this time. I working hard in trauma therapy to transform from a self loathing work addict who has grown very tired of keeping so busy that I always put my needs last.
This is the message I needed to hear to get my butt in gear and truly act and believe the ideas you have presented. Thank you.
This is such a well rounded and nuanced discussion of the pressures and position that women find themselves in. Is it wild to say that I'm grateful for a chronic illness that kicked my ass and forces me to slow down and take naps? The drive and execution of all of those roles that I was maintaining was so insane that I'm not even sure of I would have voluntarily been able to break that cycle. Now, the naps and rest are non negotiable, and that time spent resting? Has actually facilitated more safety and joy even in the circumstances. Because I've got time to fill my own cup. Crazy.
Well, Ellen, you've nailed it once again. Thank you for your very honest and very straight-forward analysis of what makes most women tick, but not tock! Thanks. Blue💙
Ellen, it sometimes takes me days to finish your articles. Sometimes I re read them. Sometimes I don’t.
All of this is to say that I feel seen in both comfortable and uncomfortable ways. Your wise words point the way through this jungle that is being a post -menopausal woman. Your words comfort and inspire me and sometimes there’s an “oh, shit” in there too.
Thank you for making the decision to offer what you know, and what you’ve had to navigate yourself. Your writings came along at the exact right time. Thank you.
Four and a half years ago, I began dealing with my senior dog's separation anxiety. I had just become an empty nester, and the complete freedom of not being a daily caregiver was right in front of me, until we moved to Manhattan, and our beloved fur baby could not be left alone. (Psychological, not behavioral). We tried everything for years to mitigate (training, medications etc...) and I finally just accepted the fact that this was my new normal--tethered to my pet. I write about it in "Not Quite an Empty Nester" and I'm at a point where I'm really reflecting on what putting him first was all about. I didn't see another way, but self-care was not my priority, and it carried a cost.
I’m burnt out, still menopausal at 56, 3/5 kids still bouncing back home, left the marriage 8 months ago and I’m still not putting my needs first. But this weekend something shifted. I’d had a heavy therapy session and I think he was waiting for me to get to this point. If my needs aren’t met, how can I look after everyone else’s? Let’s deal with the guilt and the shame and start leaning into self-compassion. I’m bracing myself for a bumpy ride! I’m under no illusions it’s as easy as I’m logically expressing it!
I don't like it but it had to be said. It's all true. I don't like that part either. I did take him to the vet a little earlier than midnight but not by much. The doc took one look at me and said, not too much left huh? I looked in the mirror and guess what, there I was looking back. I almost hate that you're so right. Thank you for putting this out here.
Clean your room. It sounds almost insultingly simple. But the idea underneath it is real. Before you try to fix the world, fix what’s in front of you. Before you try to save everyone else, get your own house in order.
I believe that I was meant to read this very message at this time. I working hard in trauma therapy to transform from a self loathing work addict who has grown very tired of keeping so busy that I always put my needs last.
This is the message I needed to hear to get my butt in gear and truly act and believe the ideas you have presented. Thank you.
Nailed it.
This is such a well rounded and nuanced discussion of the pressures and position that women find themselves in. Is it wild to say that I'm grateful for a chronic illness that kicked my ass and forces me to slow down and take naps? The drive and execution of all of those roles that I was maintaining was so insane that I'm not even sure of I would have voluntarily been able to break that cycle. Now, the naps and rest are non negotiable, and that time spent resting? Has actually facilitated more safety and joy even in the circumstances. Because I've got time to fill my own cup. Crazy.
Beautifully written. I wrote about this myself today. Thank you 🍓
Wonderful, completely accurate, and hard to face the reality of the truth laid down here… thank you! I am so appreciative of your work.
Deep!
Well, Ellen, you've nailed it once again. Thank you for your very honest and very straight-forward analysis of what makes most women tick, but not tock! Thanks. Blue💙
You nailed this one!!!
Thanks!
And now...I'm off to start...well something that needs to be done.
But I did already treat myself to 2 new articles of clothing from s few minutes of guilt-free online shopping.
Ellen, it sometimes takes me days to finish your articles. Sometimes I re read them. Sometimes I don’t.
All of this is to say that I feel seen in both comfortable and uncomfortable ways. Your wise words point the way through this jungle that is being a post -menopausal woman. Your words comfort and inspire me and sometimes there’s an “oh, shit” in there too.
Thank you for making the decision to offer what you know, and what you’ve had to navigate yourself. Your writings came along at the exact right time. Thank you.
This is so true and why is this?!!
Four and a half years ago, I began dealing with my senior dog's separation anxiety. I had just become an empty nester, and the complete freedom of not being a daily caregiver was right in front of me, until we moved to Manhattan, and our beloved fur baby could not be left alone. (Psychological, not behavioral). We tried everything for years to mitigate (training, medications etc...) and I finally just accepted the fact that this was my new normal--tethered to my pet. I write about it in "Not Quite an Empty Nester" and I'm at a point where I'm really reflecting on what putting him first was all about. I didn't see another way, but self-care was not my priority, and it carried a cost.
I’m burnt out, still menopausal at 56, 3/5 kids still bouncing back home, left the marriage 8 months ago and I’m still not putting my needs first. But this weekend something shifted. I’d had a heavy therapy session and I think he was waiting for me to get to this point. If my needs aren’t met, how can I look after everyone else’s? Let’s deal with the guilt and the shame and start leaning into self-compassion. I’m bracing myself for a bumpy ride! I’m under no illusions it’s as easy as I’m logically expressing it!
I don't like it but it had to be said. It's all true. I don't like that part either. I did take him to the vet a little earlier than midnight but not by much. The doc took one look at me and said, not too much left huh? I looked in the mirror and guess what, there I was looking back. I almost hate that you're so right. Thank you for putting this out here.
Clean your room. It sounds almost insultingly simple. But the idea underneath it is real. Before you try to fix the world, fix what’s in front of you. Before you try to save everyone else, get your own house in order.
Damn straight.