Hi Helen, I'm enjoying your sharings very much and how appropriate to come across your essay today. I've spent the last three weeks 'awake. ' I have always been an early riser, in fact waking up at 4am would actually feel like a lie in for me. But in the last few years I've been lucky to get to 3am without the need to 'get up and go' despite the exhaustion. Recently though my sleep deprivation got to a whole new level. 1.17 am, every single night. And that was me done. I honestly felt out my depth, while I'm normally good at tending to my inner life. And then it hit me one night, as I played EMDR music in the hope to sleep even a little. I do not deserve to rest. And my heart broke in finally seeing how I've spent most of my 50 years in survival mode. However I see this is a true blessing - and while I slowly learn to take care of myself in a kinder way, I sense a softness rising within which feels both anchoring and comforting. Much love 💜⭐💜
I’m 65 now but when I was going through the nights you describe, a friend told me about the olden days when people used to have First Sleep and Second Sleep every night. Between the two phases, they would get up for a few hours and do things, sometimes even visiting neighbors! It made me think maybe my body was just functioning normally. 🤷♀️
his is so spot-on. The 4 a.m. wake-ups are rarely just hormones — they’re the moments when everything we’ve avoided during the day finally has space to speak. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also honest. I love the way you framed it as an invitation instead of a malfunction. Midlife isn’t a breakdown; it’s a recalibration. And sometimes the first step in rebuilding is simply being willing to hear what rises in the silence.
This is so spot-on. The 4 a.m. wake-ups are rarely just hormones — they’re the moments when everything we’ve avoided during the day finally has space to speak. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also honest. I love the way you framed it as an invitation instead of a malfunction. Midlife isn’t a breakdown; it’s a recalibration. And sometimes the first step in rebuilding is simply being willing to hear what rises in the silence.
Omg Ellen!!!!! This is awesome. I feel like I am going through this now. My early mornings lately have been so much. Thank you for writing this. I needed to read this, take in and re-evaluate 🫶🏻
Totally true 👍
Hi Helen, I'm enjoying your sharings very much and how appropriate to come across your essay today. I've spent the last three weeks 'awake. ' I have always been an early riser, in fact waking up at 4am would actually feel like a lie in for me. But in the last few years I've been lucky to get to 3am without the need to 'get up and go' despite the exhaustion. Recently though my sleep deprivation got to a whole new level. 1.17 am, every single night. And that was me done. I honestly felt out my depth, while I'm normally good at tending to my inner life. And then it hit me one night, as I played EMDR music in the hope to sleep even a little. I do not deserve to rest. And my heart broke in finally seeing how I've spent most of my 50 years in survival mode. However I see this is a true blessing - and while I slowly learn to take care of myself in a kinder way, I sense a softness rising within which feels both anchoring and comforting. Much love 💜⭐💜
Yes and get your thyroid levels checked!
Thank you for this very necessary newfound perspective. It is mind altering! 💕
I'm so glad to have found this publication. It makes so much sense, and so many women I know will resonate with this. Thank you!!
I’m 65 now but when I was going through the nights you describe, a friend told me about the olden days when people used to have First Sleep and Second Sleep every night. Between the two phases, they would get up for a few hours and do things, sometimes even visiting neighbors! It made me think maybe my body was just functioning normally. 🤷♀️
https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=first%20sleep%20second%20sleep&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5
his is so spot-on. The 4 a.m. wake-ups are rarely just hormones — they’re the moments when everything we’ve avoided during the day finally has space to speak. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also honest. I love the way you framed it as an invitation instead of a malfunction. Midlife isn’t a breakdown; it’s a recalibration. And sometimes the first step in rebuilding is simply being willing to hear what rises in the silence.
This is so spot-on. The 4 a.m. wake-ups are rarely just hormones — they’re the moments when everything we’ve avoided during the day finally has space to speak. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s also honest. I love the way you framed it as an invitation instead of a malfunction. Midlife isn’t a breakdown; it’s a recalibration. And sometimes the first step in rebuilding is simply being willing to hear what rises in the silence.
Omg Ellen!!!!! This is awesome. I feel like I am going through this now. My early mornings lately have been so much. Thank you for writing this. I needed to read this, take in and re-evaluate 🫶🏻
So glad this post could help!
I love your posts, your humor and your wisdom! Thanks so much! ❤️🙏
Thank you for being a part of my community. ❤️