Great advice, although I started pre-menopause when I decided that I couldn't stay in a marriage in which I was expected to make sure "we didn't run out of toilet paper" when I asked my then-future-ex-husband what he wanted. What I wanted was that he accept me the way I was and to be happy. We were quite obviously on different planets. As a recovering Catholic, I reframe "selfishness" as "enlightened self interest," for myself and the clients in my psychotherapy practice, and work on eliminating guilt. And now, almost 50 years after that divorce, at 87 I can say that once I took the reins of my own life and as I get close to my expiration date, I can give my life 5 stars!
Such wise words! Wish I had read them 10 years ago. Would have made my life so much easier. What a great service you are offering us women. It’s about time we understand what is happening in our minds and bodies and realize it’s all very normal. Being post menopausal, o can attest : it does get much better especially when we accept that we are evolving and becoming someone new , believing in ourselves , stop fighting these changes and wishing we could turn back the clock. Going back does not work. I’ve tried when I was too confused to understand what was happening to me. Now, I feel free and am much more me. Be patient. It will get better. 🙏
Thank you , Ellen. There is a lot to take in here, to reflect on, and to process. Being almost 10 years post-menopausal and never having taken any HRT, I think I am having a weird transformation that has only recently commenced in the last few months. I am just now recognizing the transition that is happening to me. Other people in my life, many who I am very close to, don’t like it at all. I am looking forward to what my “rebuild” will look like, but also pretty alarmed by it. Thanks for validating these thoughts and feelings. Thank you so very much for assisting women as we bust out of the chrysalis and emerge into who we were always meant to be. Who that woman is for me, I’m not yet sure, but I’m willing to do the work to find out. 🦋
I was told when I was in high school that I wasn’t just honest, I was ‘brutally blunt’. That was about 50 years ago, so just imagine me now! When I truly’ don’t give a damn. 😅 Unfortunately I’m 16 years menopausal and STILL having hot flashes, brain farts and loosing words, so I gave up and started HRT this month. Pray for me. 🫣
I love how you framed it as a rebuild, not a breakdown, like the brain is reclaiming its energy from decades of emotional labor and social performance.
Who here can please share their experience, what’s one “old program” you noticed uninstalling first, guilt, people-pleasing, over-explaining, or something else?
putting up with my now ex-husband’s shenanigans. He crossed the line one too many times and being a Cancer, I cut him out of my life. The old saying is ‘Cancer’s don’t divorce their partner, they kill them’ So I did him a favor, at least he got out alive. 😝
This was such an interesting read! I have a question - how does hormone replacement therapy fit into the picture? Is the rewiring still happening?
Thank you for this post. I feel seen.
This is such an interesting read. Thank you 🙏
Great advice, although I started pre-menopause when I decided that I couldn't stay in a marriage in which I was expected to make sure "we didn't run out of toilet paper" when I asked my then-future-ex-husband what he wanted. What I wanted was that he accept me the way I was and to be happy. We were quite obviously on different planets. As a recovering Catholic, I reframe "selfishness" as "enlightened self interest," for myself and the clients in my psychotherapy practice, and work on eliminating guilt. And now, almost 50 years after that divorce, at 87 I can say that once I took the reins of my own life and as I get close to my expiration date, I can give my life 5 stars!
Such wise words! Wish I had read them 10 years ago. Would have made my life so much easier. What a great service you are offering us women. It’s about time we understand what is happening in our minds and bodies and realize it’s all very normal. Being post menopausal, o can attest : it does get much better especially when we accept that we are evolving and becoming someone new , believing in ourselves , stop fighting these changes and wishing we could turn back the clock. Going back does not work. I’ve tried when I was too confused to understand what was happening to me. Now, I feel free and am much more me. Be patient. It will get better. 🙏
Thank you , Ellen. There is a lot to take in here, to reflect on, and to process. Being almost 10 years post-menopausal and never having taken any HRT, I think I am having a weird transformation that has only recently commenced in the last few months. I am just now recognizing the transition that is happening to me. Other people in my life, many who I am very close to, don’t like it at all. I am looking forward to what my “rebuild” will look like, but also pretty alarmed by it. Thanks for validating these thoughts and feelings. Thank you so very much for assisting women as we bust out of the chrysalis and emerge into who we were always meant to be. Who that woman is for me, I’m not yet sure, but I’m willing to do the work to find out. 🦋
I was told when I was in high school that I wasn’t just honest, I was ‘brutally blunt’. That was about 50 years ago, so just imagine me now! When I truly’ don’t give a damn. 😅 Unfortunately I’m 16 years menopausal and STILL having hot flashes, brain farts and loosing words, so I gave up and started HRT this month. Pray for me. 🫣
I love how you framed it as a rebuild, not a breakdown, like the brain is reclaiming its energy from decades of emotional labor and social performance.
Who here can please share their experience, what’s one “old program” you noticed uninstalling first, guilt, people-pleasing, over-explaining, or something else?
I'm fairly new to the perimenopausal ride at 51...I've been noticing less guilt--I just shrug and let it go more.
Definitely a big change happening regarding people-pleasing....I just don't care as much.
On the negative end... I'm feeling more tired; needing more naps. I took 2 today! For an active person, it's a bit of a bummer.
putting up with my now ex-husband’s shenanigans. He crossed the line one too many times and being a Cancer, I cut him out of my life. The old saying is ‘Cancer’s don’t divorce their partner, they kill them’ So I did him a favor, at least he got out alive. 😝
Brilliant. And so validating.