23 Comments
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Monica Lunds | ADHD Remote's avatar

Great! The strongest point for me is that waiting does not always mean wisdom. Sometimes it just means fear getting more comfortable.

Camden McDaris Black's avatar

I love this approach - I'm going to reflect on this hard over the weekend!

Cassandra's avatar

Omg. This resonates

Hazel June Wilder's avatar

Being audacious with our intentions is like medicine for the midlife soul.

The Pattern Reader's avatar

"what would your future self wish you had started today?"

I've been sitting on this question for the last hour. and the answer isn't comfortable.

the thing about comfort is that it protects you — but it also limits you. and five years from now, I won't remember the fear that kept me from starting. I'll only remember that I didn't start.

Lauren Reisner's avatar

I'm me 5 years later and I wish I did things differently so now I'm choosing to do me 5 years from now a favor and getting the ball rolling. But I'm an impatient person by nature so I kind of want it to be 5 years from now already

Nicole Fenyo's avatar

You write such… effective… articles. The 3 I have read so far are the most accurately insightful and dead-on of all the « women in mid-life » stuff out there (at least in my feed). Whether it’s your tone, writing style, or just choice of words… you clearly understand AND are able to express in a manner unparalleled. Thank you!!!

Leah D. Lovison's avatar

Love that question about if it's a decision you can live with.

The Work Of Living's avatar

I’ve started to answer that question via my own Substack. I”m two weeks in and building a subscriber base seems like an insurmountable mountain right now. Future me in 5 years will forever wonder “what if”. That’s truly what’s driving me. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

🇨🇦Gillie Easdon 'Ma Warm Mess's avatar

I have zero fucks. Thank you for this excellent title.

Daniel P. Hirschi's avatar

That idea of asking what future-you really would want is interesting. When asked, most of us have no idea what it could look like.

I sometimes approach it slightly differently and ask whether a decision expands or drains the life I’m trying to build in the next chapter. It shifts the focus from fear to direction. And from extraction to regeneration.

Sarah Siders's avatar

Read this aloud to my husband last night - so resonant for this moment in life. Thank you for this!

Patricia Lane's avatar

I’ve been retired for almost 7 years. I want to find something meaningful to do, but what? I don’t think I could do a regular job. I retired from being a Yoga studio owner and before that 30+ years of corporate bullshit I’d like to find something quiet to do like working in a library or a museum, but none of those are hiring I could take the volunteer route, but I would like something with some revenue. I did have a circle jerk moment with Whole Foods where I applied for a job they set up an interview, they rescheduled the interview and then they canceled the interview because they hired somebody all within 24 hours. In the meantime I have a beautiful life. I work out, do Yoga, paint, write. Right now I’m healing from a very painful breakup and break ups late in life seem harder to recover from. Anyway, your article gave me a lot to think about what would my future self say to me right now?

Daniel P. Hirschi's avatar

Your situation made me think about how meaning sometimes emerges.

Less from finding the perfect role and more from noticing where your energy naturally comes alive.

Yoga, painting, writing… there’s already a lot of life there. Right?

Sometimes the next step grows out of that rather than replacing it.

Patricia Lane's avatar

Thank you Daniel. Truer words have never been spoken.

El Writes's avatar

Great article. El in five years would be glad that present day El read it. I think she is also secretly hoping I'll actually answer the question 😅

Tina Storey's avatar

Waaaaaah!!

I spent last week applying for jobs and setting up interviews. To do the same job I default to, that burns me out. I need to do something that lights me up instead.