This is one the big reasons women die more from heart disease and have more strokes than men.
We are so busy managing our households to keep things running along as smoothly as possible, that we suppress our thoughts about how our own bodies feel and tell ourselves “ah, I’ve been doing this for 20 years, I’ll find some me-time soon …”
So we just keep running …
And when we can’t run anymore, we start “chugging,” but we’re less mindful about it. We just gotta keep things going, even though our headaches suddenly become more frequent or we get migraine with aura, or we lose our appetite and then start feeling a bit dizzy, or nauseous from time to time …
But we go “Naah, it’s nothing to worry about …”
Every five minutes, someone in Canada has a heart attack or stroke.
Our symptoms are different than men’s. We often don’t get the classic chest pain. So we are misdiagnosed more often too.
As women, we are at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, largely because of hormone fluctuations throughout our lives.
I’ve had two strokes myself. In 1984, as a new Mom; aged 27, followed by a more serious one six years later.
I was told my first stroke was a fluke, but now we know it wasn’t.
Pregnancy and labour is a female’s biggest cardiovascular workout; particularly combined with other female risk factors.
Unknowingly, I had about five other risk factors.
I am proud to be a volunteer member, as someone with lived experience, of a review committee managed by Canada’s Heart and Stroke Foundation for best treatment practices for women with stroke during pregnancy/postpartum.
I am also a spokesperson for Heart and Stroke’s free online risk assessment questionnaire that takes into account the most recent research on women’s increased and unique risks to our heart and brain health.
The questionnaire takes only seven minutes to complete, and gives you a detailed report of your personal risks that you can print and discuss with your doctor.
There still remains a dangerous knowledge gap amongst the medical profession about women’s extra risks.
So please, become your own best advocate. Visit heartandstroke.ca, and learn more.
I have also written a book about my 40+ year stroke rehabilitation journey entitled “Becoming Comfortably Numb: A Memoir on Brain-Mending” telling how I went from wheelchair to climbing the Acropolis (on Hub’s arm with a cane). I also managed to reboot my comms career at Justice Canada.
Stroke rehabilitation expert Dr. Hillel Finestone calls my book “a bestseller to help stroke patients for all time.”
It also provides hope and inspiration for caregivers and anyone living with chronic illness or tough lifelong issues. It’s available on Amazon/Kindle and wherever books are sold.
You can also find me on Substack, where I write about day-to-day issues living with disabilities.
Please Note: I am not a doctor, so please do not mistake anything said here to be medical advice.
And finally, if you’re still readings this, you are amazing, and so glad you’re trying this hard to stay unfucked.
I’ve written about this a few times myself (“who put me in charge of the damn calendar" and "the emotional load of midlife" at my own substack: realgirlsguidetomidlife.com) and yes, it’s mental… but it’s also decades of being the default load carrier for literally everyone and everything.
To be truthful, this is only ONE reason I might be a bitch. Add hormones, being everybody’s emergency contact, memory bank, scheduler, therapist, and finder of lost socks and yeah… no wonder some of us are tired as fuck and “not pleasant.”
Like cool. Sign me right up for that.
At some point you just get done being all things to all people while everybody acts shocked you’re exhausted.
This is such a strong naming of the cost women carry when they become the default tracker of everything.
In my work with women, I’d name this less as mental load and more as a survival adaptation. The body has already predicted: if I don’t manage everything, something will fall apart — and I’ll be the one who pays.
That’s why rest, delegation, and “just stop doing so much” don’t reach the root. The pattern is often organized around an unresolved attachment imprint that has not updated yet.
The work is not only lightening the list. It’s resolving the prediction that everything depends on her.
That’s the Empire’s work of colonialism one of many dysfunctions brought over across the great pond from the British Empire…learn to Unpack it all and STOP the insanity upon our lands! Check out my mentor, Native elder Steven Newcomb’s work …the Domination Chronicles here on Substack!
This is one the big reasons women die more from heart disease and have more strokes than men.
We are so busy managing our households to keep things running along as smoothly as possible, that we suppress our thoughts about how our own bodies feel and tell ourselves “ah, I’ve been doing this for 20 years, I’ll find some me-time soon …”
So we just keep running …
And when we can’t run anymore, we start “chugging,” but we’re less mindful about it. We just gotta keep things going, even though our headaches suddenly become more frequent or we get migraine with aura, or we lose our appetite and then start feeling a bit dizzy, or nauseous from time to time …
But we go “Naah, it’s nothing to worry about …”
Every five minutes, someone in Canada has a heart attack or stroke.
Our symptoms are different than men’s. We often don’t get the classic chest pain. So we are misdiagnosed more often too.
As women, we are at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, largely because of hormone fluctuations throughout our lives.
I’ve had two strokes myself. In 1984, as a new Mom; aged 27, followed by a more serious one six years later.
I was told my first stroke was a fluke, but now we know it wasn’t.
Pregnancy and labour is a female’s biggest cardiovascular workout; particularly combined with other female risk factors.
Unknowingly, I had about five other risk factors.
I am proud to be a volunteer member, as someone with lived experience, of a review committee managed by Canada’s Heart and Stroke Foundation for best treatment practices for women with stroke during pregnancy/postpartum.
I am also a spokesperson for Heart and Stroke’s free online risk assessment questionnaire that takes into account the most recent research on women’s increased and unique risks to our heart and brain health.
The questionnaire takes only seven minutes to complete, and gives you a detailed report of your personal risks that you can print and discuss with your doctor.
There still remains a dangerous knowledge gap amongst the medical profession about women’s extra risks.
So please, become your own best advocate. Visit heartandstroke.ca, and learn more.
I have also written a book about my 40+ year stroke rehabilitation journey entitled “Becoming Comfortably Numb: A Memoir on Brain-Mending” telling how I went from wheelchair to climbing the Acropolis (on Hub’s arm with a cane). I also managed to reboot my comms career at Justice Canada.
Stroke rehabilitation expert Dr. Hillel Finestone calls my book “a bestseller to help stroke patients for all time.”
It also provides hope and inspiration for caregivers and anyone living with chronic illness or tough lifelong issues. It’s available on Amazon/Kindle and wherever books are sold.
You can also find me on Substack, where I write about day-to-day issues living with disabilities.
Please Note: I am not a doctor, so please do not mistake anything said here to be medical advice.
And finally, if you’re still readings this, you are amazing, and so glad you’re trying this hard to stay unfucked.
Best All Ways,
Cathy 😎♥️🧠
I’ve written about this a few times myself (“who put me in charge of the damn calendar" and "the emotional load of midlife" at my own substack: realgirlsguidetomidlife.com) and yes, it’s mental… but it’s also decades of being the default load carrier for literally everyone and everything.
To be truthful, this is only ONE reason I might be a bitch. Add hormones, being everybody’s emergency contact, memory bank, scheduler, therapist, and finder of lost socks and yeah… no wonder some of us are tired as fuck and “not pleasant.”
Like cool. Sign me right up for that.
At some point you just get done being all things to all people while everybody acts shocked you’re exhausted.
This is such a strong naming of the cost women carry when they become the default tracker of everything.
In my work with women, I’d name this less as mental load and more as a survival adaptation. The body has already predicted: if I don’t manage everything, something will fall apart — and I’ll be the one who pays.
That’s why rest, delegation, and “just stop doing so much” don’t reach the root. The pattern is often organized around an unresolved attachment imprint that has not updated yet.
The work is not only lightening the list. It’s resolving the prediction that everything depends on her.
This is so real lol
That’s the Empire’s work of colonialism one of many dysfunctions brought over across the great pond from the British Empire…learn to Unpack it all and STOP the insanity upon our lands! Check out my mentor, Native elder Steven Newcomb’s work …the Domination Chronicles here on Substack!
All of this is so true for so many of us and we tho k we are the ones failing…