You Already Know. Stop Pretending You Don't.

When your gut knows but you need more time

I read this quote the other day: “Your intuition already told you. Everything after that is just negotiation with fear.”

And I had to stop and think about this.

Because yeah. That’s exactly it.

You know that feeling when your stomach has been tight for months? When your jaw aches from clenching, and you can’t remember the last time you actually slept through the night? When there’s this low-grade dread sitting on your chest every Sunday evening?

Your body is screaming at you. Has been for a while now.

But your mind? Oh, your mind has a whole PowerPoint presentation ready about why now isn’t the time to deal with this. It’s disguised the fear as logic. As wisdom. As being practical and thinking things through.

“You’re just being dramatic.” “Think of the consequences.” “Maybe if you just tried harder...”

I spent last year doing exactly this. My gut was sending me very clear signals that something wasn’t working. And I—someone who literally teaches other women to listen to their gut—was completely ignoring mine.

I know. Talk about not practicing what I preach.

Here’s the thing about body-knowing: It doesn’t come with a plan. Your gut knows something is wrong, but it doesn’t hand you a roadmap for what to do about it. No timeline. No instructions. Just this uncertainty that sits in your gut and won’t leave.

And your mind absolutely hates that.

Pema Chodron calls it groundlessness. Your mind is terrified of groundlessness, so it scrambles to build a floor beneath you. Even if that floor is made entirely of denial and rationalization.

You know your marriage ended years ago, but you’re still in the same bed.

You know the job is killing you, but the benefits are good, and you’re “only” fifteen years from retirement.

You know your body needs you to slow down, but who else is going to handle everything?

The gut whispers, “This isn’t right.” The mind immediately starts the negotiations.

And here’s what I need you to hear: That gap between knowing and being ready to act on what you know? That’s not failure. That’s not you being weak or stuck or broken.

That’s just how it works sometimes.

Your gut knows first. It always does. But your mind needs time to catch up before you can actually do something about what you know. Maybe you’re not ready to leave yet. Maybe you’re not ready to speak up. Maybe you’re not ready to blow everything up and start over.

That’s okay.

This isn’t about forcing yourself to take action before you’re ready. It’s about not beating yourself up for being in this uncomfortable in-between space. The space where you know, but you’re not quite ready to know what you know.

What helps? Slowness. Spaciousness. Self-compassion instead of self-judgment.

Beating yourself up for not being ready doesn’t make you ready. It just makes you exhausted.

You’ll know when the time is right. Your gut has been telling you the truth this whole time, and it’s not going to suddenly stop now.

The negotiation with fear? That’s just your mind trying to protect you.

Nice try, brain. But you know what's actually true.

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