This landed deeply. The reframe from stuck to transforming feels both compassionate and neurologically honest—naming the reality without pathologizing it.
I’m struck by how much permission lives in that one word. Permission to be unfinished. Permission to not recognize yourself for a while. Permission to stand in the doorway without rushing to choose a side.
As someone who sits with people in their own “in-between” every day, I see this so clearly: what looks like paralysis is often a nervous system doing its best in uncertainty. Naming it as transformation doesn’t erase the grief or the fear—but it gives the brain (and the heart) a place to breathe.
The kitchen renovation metaphor is perfect. No one stands in a half-demolished kitchen and concludes they’ve failed at homeownership—yet we do that to ourselves in midlife so easily.
Thank you for offering language that softens shame and restores agency. This isn’t toxic positivity; it’s orientation. And sometimes orientation is the most powerful intervention there is.
Saving this. And sharing it with clients who need a kinder, truer story about where they are.
I understand this on such a visceral level when you describe it the way you do. I am transforming & I refuse to let myself feel/think I'm stuck anymore.
This landed for me. I've been writing about that in-between space—what I call the lonely middle—and your kitchen renovation metaphor nails it. The hardest part isn't deciding to change or getting results. It's the stretch where nothing looks different yet but everything feels harder. Thanks for putting language to it.
Love the kitchen renovation metaphor - it's directly applicable to the interior renovation that happens to us as we age. Thank you for showing us that even if we've been feeling stuck for many years, that there's a simple reframe that will relieve some of the pressure we carry. "I'm transforming" is my new mantra.
I needed to see this today, thank you for the reminder. I used the wording several times today as I moved through my day.
This landed deeply. The reframe from stuck to transforming feels both compassionate and neurologically honest—naming the reality without pathologizing it.
I’m struck by how much permission lives in that one word. Permission to be unfinished. Permission to not recognize yourself for a while. Permission to stand in the doorway without rushing to choose a side.
As someone who sits with people in their own “in-between” every day, I see this so clearly: what looks like paralysis is often a nervous system doing its best in uncertainty. Naming it as transformation doesn’t erase the grief or the fear—but it gives the brain (and the heart) a place to breathe.
The kitchen renovation metaphor is perfect. No one stands in a half-demolished kitchen and concludes they’ve failed at homeownership—yet we do that to ourselves in midlife so easily.
Thank you for offering language that softens shame and restores agency. This isn’t toxic positivity; it’s orientation. And sometimes orientation is the most powerful intervention there is.
Saving this. And sharing it with clients who need a kinder, truer story about where they are.
I understand this on such a visceral level when you describe it the way you do. I am transforming & I refuse to let myself feel/think I'm stuck anymore.
This mirrors my experience. What I called stuck was really my cue to step away, slow the pace, and let a different version of my life take shape.
This landed for me. I've been writing about that in-between space—what I call the lonely middle—and your kitchen renovation metaphor nails it. The hardest part isn't deciding to change or getting results. It's the stretch where nothing looks different yet but everything feels harder. Thanks for putting language to it.
Thank you 🙏
The reframe makes a huge difference 🦋
From stuck to transforming
🦋
Thank you so much for this! It’s the reminder that I needed today.
Love the kitchen renovation metaphor - it's directly applicable to the interior renovation that happens to us as we age. Thank you for showing us that even if we've been feeling stuck for many years, that there's a simple reframe that will relieve some of the pressure we carry. "I'm transforming" is my new mantra.
This is so important! Thank you!
How we frame things makes all the difference.